Category: Roosters

Name: Lil’ Jerry (“Jerry”)
Fighting Style: Being the master of both his and others domains

What’s the deal with Lil’ Jerry? Folks are wondering how a rooster so small made it into the competition. Whenever anyone makes comments about his stature though he just starts screaming about how he was in the pool. When he’s not doing that it’s really hard to hear him say anything, so much so that you might think him a low-talker. But he really is a stand up guy.

Jerry’s motives in the competition aren’t really clear. One moment he plans to parlay his winnings into soup and the next he plans to open a Festivus superstore. We’re not sure what that means. We do know however that despite some of his erratic behavior, Jerry is possessed of a very real serenity in any given moment.

Name: The General (formerly “El Presidente”)
Fighting Style: Capoeira

The General longs for his time back on his plantation deep in the Costa Rican rainforest. He arrived here to less than approving response. Every morning he can be seen standing in front of the American Flag painted on the side of the barn staring off into the distance with an almost confused look on his face. Nobody seems to know why he chooses to park there. What little is known is that he was forced into exile under some “mysterious” circumstances. Hearing him speak of his past often leaves the listener filled with more questions than answers.

What everyone does know is that he has a serious problem with The Commodore. There is some speculation that The General is getting some “special” feed for those allied with him in his fight. Having considered the matter done with after his prior beating of The Commodore, The General has decided that it is time to finish matters once and for all and if the barnyard gets destroyed in the process that is an acceptable loss. We hope that someone is able to stop these two before things are too far gone.

Name: Charles “Sunny” M Piston
Fighting Style:  The Sweet Science

Only one Rooster on the farm crows at dawn. Sunny once heard the farmer say: “The early bird gets the worm”, and he’s lived by that mantra ever since. Sunny is up waiting on the sun to rise, and he’s there waiting for it to set.

Not a single Rooster has taken the first swing in a match against Sunny, but the rumor is that Clubber is looking for a chance to “bust him up”.  No one is sure why they haven’t squared off yet, but we wait for the day they do.

 

Name: Naldo “Pollo Loco” Acero
Fighting Style:  Yaomachita

Naldo comes to the Barnyard after escaping a transport headed to a slaughterhouse. He speaks little, naps in the afternoons, and repeats the same three lines

When fights are scheduled, He loudly proclaims
” Hago mi asesinato antes del desayuno”

When he enters the Ring, He stares right into the eyes of his opponent and says:
“Te romperé”

And when he sees Rosie around the yard, in a soft whisper he says:
“Deseo hacerte mi feliz para siempre”

No one knows what he is saying, but most of the barnyard believes that he is crazy.

Name:  Hank “Skipper” McSurly
Fighting Style: Zui Quan (Drunken Fist)

Hank (Skipper to anyone with the desire to not have a black eye), travelled the world on a Merchant Marine vessel prior to ending up here at the barnyard. While in the Orient, he developed a penchant for eating Canned Green Vegetables straight from the can, while learning the ancient arts of Zui Quan. He began organzing matches as a way to pass the time while at sea.

Hank showed up at the barnyard in the hopes of helping out a fellow sailor, Commodore. Several of the Roosters complain that they’re not really sure what is in those cans of vegetables, and have quietly begun accusing Skipper of using some sort of P.E.D.

Name: The Reverend (Nickname: “Rev”)
Fighting Style: Quiet Guilt

Brothers and sisters, join us in welcoming The Reverend to the brawl for it all. Underneath the sparkling and pristine facade, The Reverend is filled to overflowing with the “spirits”. Sometimes heard speaking of the afterlife and sometimes speaking of his own resurrection, The Reverend is bombastic outside of the fight and barely speaks above a whisper inside them. Though he claims to be here on mission work all his collections of “alms for the poor” only ever seem to go to communion wine he’s seen drinking between the fights. Every morning, seen on a chicken crate condemning those who participate in the day’s events prior to his own competing, some doubt his sincerity. Despite all this, his determination is unfazed.

Perhaps it is just that The Reverend is misunderstood and he’s not being given a fair shake and bake. Everyone is starting to wonder if maybe he is less than the altruistic Rooster he pretends to be. Do any of us have the right to judge though? Of course in the world we live in and given the negativity in the world, maybe The Rev is just the rooster we need to lead us into the land of buttermilk biscuits and honey.

Name: Schwartz (Nickname: “The Roostahnator”)
Fighting Style: The 800 Feathers of Termination

Schwartz hails from the mountains of Austria by way of the west coast and was flown into the event by the General to help him pump up the morale of his coop of troops. Prior to the event he made his living as an actor in poultry commercials and is a hated member of his species for selling out. In spite of this, with his chiseled features and bodily perfection every Rooster wants to be him and every Hen wants to be with him. He’s shown up determined to help further his benefactor’s agenda, so the pay must be amazing.

It is no real surprise that Schwartz has got a reputation for infidelity and it’s rumored that his secret motivation for joining this event was to reconnect with his illegitimate son, but nobody seems sure of just who that might be and he doesn’t seem to be telling. It’s one of the greatest mysteries of this tournament of champions and we hope to learn the truth before everything is said and done. We wish him well and hope that if there is a second tournament that he will be back.

Name: Fogleg
Fighting Style:  Gouging (Rough & Tumble)

The first words anyone heard Fogleg speak were: “I say! Did you know Roosters have lips? I do! I’ve ripped them right off their beak!” And with that, the Barnyard was put on notice.

Fogleg has come to train young up and comers in the Brawl, and is teaching them as much about fighting, as he is about one liners that make you scratch your head to understand. He’s been spotted trying to impart life lessons on Hawk, but no one is sure they’re sinking in.

Name: Clubber
Fighting Style: Jibber Jabber (whatever that means)

Clubber is one of the best trash talkers in the competition and he has on more than one occasion been heard to say that he does in fact “pity the fowl”. His aggressive commentary is matched by his prowess in the competition and capacity to use his variation on The Sweet Science. Despite all this to get him to the competition from across the country he had to be drugged for the flight.

That said, word round the barnyard is that he was a bit of a B.A. mercenary in a past life and that if you have a problem and no other Rooster can help, if you can find him and the eggs are right, then maybe you can hire him. But that’s just barnyard banter. And if that is the case, he may just have a heart of gold, which works out since he is devoted to the Golden Rule “The Rooster with the Gold…Rules”.

Name: Commodore Klemens F.  Clark (But, you are required to call him Commodore)
Fighting Style: Bare Knuckles Boxing

The Commodore loves boxing. His Bare Knuckles sparring with the General led to the creation of this little backyard brawl. The only thing he loves more than boxing, is winning. And the last time he squared off with the General, he was beaten. Soundly.

While sitting in an herb bath after the defeat, Commodore put out the call for the creation of the Barnyard Brawl, in hopes of finding one Rooster so superior that he can pit them against the General. Nothing would make Commodore happier than watching the General’s Feathers Fly. Nothing.