Name: The Reverend (Nickname: “Rev”)
Fighting Style: Quiet Guilt
Brothers and sisters, join us in welcoming The Reverend to the brawl for it all. Underneath the sparkling and pristine facade, The Reverend is filled to overflowing with the “spirits”. Sometimes heard speaking of the afterlife and sometimes speaking of his own resurrection, The Reverend is bombastic outside of the fight and barely speaks above a whisper inside them. Though he claims to be here on mission work all his collections of “alms for the poor” only ever seem to go to communion wine he’s seen drinking between the fights. Every morning, seen on a chicken crate condemning those who participate in the day’s events prior to his own competing, some doubt his sincerity. Despite all this, his determination is unfazed.
Perhaps it is just that The Reverend is misunderstood and he’s not being given a fair shake and bake. Everyone is starting to wonder if maybe he is less than the altruistic Rooster he pretends to be. Do any of us have the right to judge though? Of course in the world we live in and given the negativity in the world, maybe The Rev is just the rooster we need to lead us into the land of buttermilk biscuits and honey.
Name: Schwartz (Nickname: “The Roostahnator”)
Fighting Style: The 800 Feathers of Termination
Schwartz hails from the mountains of Austria by way of the west coast and was flown into the event by the General to help him pump up the morale of his coop of troops. Prior to the event he made his living as an actor in poultry commercials and is a hated member of his species for selling out. In spite of this, with his chiseled features and bodily perfection every Rooster wants to be him and every Hen wants to be with him. He’s shown up determined to help further his benefactor’s agenda, so the pay must be amazing.
It is no real surprise that Schwartz has got a reputation for infidelity and it’s rumored that his secret motivation for joining this event was to reconnect with his illegitimate son, but nobody seems sure of just who that might be and he doesn’t seem to be telling. It’s one of the greatest mysteries of this tournament of champions and we hope to learn the truth before everything is said and done. We wish him well and hope that if there is a second tournament that he will be back.
Fighting Style: Gouging (Rough & Tumble)
The first words anyone heard Fogleg speak were: “I say! Did you know Roosters have lips? I do! I’ve ripped them right off their beak!” And with that, the Barnyard was put on notice.
Fogleg has come to train young up and comers in the Brawl, and is teaching them as much about fighting, as he is about one liners that make you scratch your head to understand. He’s been spotted trying to impart life lessons on Hawk, but no one is sure they’re sinking in.
Fighting Style: Jibber Jabber (whatever that means)
Clubber is one of the best trash talkers in the competition and he has on more than one occasion been heard to say that he does in fact “pity the fowl”. His aggressive commentary is matched by his prowess in the competition and capacity to use his variation on The Sweet Science. Despite all this to get him to the competition from across the country he had to be drugged for the flight.
That said, word round the barnyard is that he was a bit of a B.A. mercenary in a past life and that if you have a problem and no other Rooster can help, if you can find him and the eggs are right, then maybe you can hire him. But that’s just barnyard banter. And if that is the case, he may just have a heart of gold, which works out since he is devoted to the Golden Rule “The Rooster with the Gold…Rules”.
Name: Commodore Klemens F. Clark (But, you are required to call him Commodore)
Fighting Style: Bare Knuckles Boxing
The Commodore loves boxing. His Bare Knuckles sparring with the General led to the creation of this little backyard brawl. The only thing he loves more than boxing, is winning. And the last time he squared off with the General, he was beaten. Soundly.
While sitting in an herb bath after the defeat, Commodore put out the call for the creation of the Barnyard Brawl, in hopes of finding one Rooster so superior that he can pit them against the General. Nothing would make Commodore happier than watching the General’s Feathers Fly. Nothing.
Name: Roadkill (Sometimes called Bernie)
Fighting Style: Depends on if “taking a pounding” is actually a style
Nobody seems to know if Roadkill is a legitimate competitor in the competition, but he has been around the barnyard since before it began and pretty much in the exact same spot. His trademark style of being a punching bag has gotten everyone’s attention though. He has somehow gotten close to victory on multiple times just by his opponents wearing themselves out. All those matches they ended in a tie, so his style may not be 100% successful.
The flies and the smell don’t seem to bother most folks and the tire track up his abdomen gives him some character. Turns out he’s also quite a hit with the ladies, which is a little weird. In the end though the thing to remember is that some folks were made to dish out beatings and some folks were built to take them and Roadkill is the champion of getting the stuffing kicked out of himself and still being as fresh at the end of a fight as he was at the beginning. We wish him the best.
Name: Blue, (AKA B, dubbed by the Roosters)
Fighting Style: Okichitaw
Blue, a wild young buffalo from the neighboring free range, has taken great interest in the brawl that has consumed the barnyard. Originally, just a fan of watching the spectacle, He was roped into the fight when Clubber decided he needed a harder opponent, and spotted Blue on the sidelines.
Blue doesn’t want to fight the roosters, but Clubber’s insistence on calling him “Cheesy Mode” has left him with a desire to server Clubber the comeuppance he feels he deserves.
Name: Eggbert (“NERD!!”)
Fighting Style: Krav Ba-Caw
Raised on the mean streets of the chosen ones, Eggbert is no stranger to violence. Being smaller than all the other Roosters meant that Eggbert needed to learn early and often how to protect himself and he set his beautiful mind to the task.
Employing some of Albert Eggstein’s theories, on Chicken Relativity, he knows that E=MC2 really just means that he is easily an equal to any of the other musclebound jerks in the competition.
He welcomes the challenge of competition and was last seen looking for Monster when he showed up in the barnyard of picking a fight with the biggest opponent. We hope he’s OK.
Name: Peatah (real Name: Kirk Newcheck)
Fighting Style: Social Justice, Specializing in the Keyboard Warrior Style
Peatah comes from old henhouse money. Even at an early age he knew that he was destined for something greater or at the very least a participation trophy. Though he may be one of the least experienced fighters in the barnyard, he believes that his convictions will carry him to victory. After the dust settles, he knows that he can draw attention to the atrocities being carried out against the “unborn” and that they are being used as prize in this atrocious blood sport.
Should he stand tall in the end, he plans to raise all the chicks as his own. Unless of course, he has to face a hen in competition, as his upbringing will prevent him from striking them. Choosing a warrior’s path was not an easy one. Kung Pow has been seen eyeing him with nothing but contempt since his arrival. Signs arguing against the event being carried by Peatah may have something to do with it.
Fighting Style: Stomping, Smashing, Utter Destruction.
Monster was the littlest chick that had ever been born. Thinking he wasn’t long for this world, the farmer took him to the barn, and started giving him some experimental feed. A few days later, The barn was leveled, and it took a a small army to contain the… “Little” guy.
I saw Peatah try and whack him with that sign of his once. Poor fool looked like he’d been plucked clean for dinner after the stompin’ Monster gave him.