Name: DNA Tests are Pending
Fighting Style: Impending Doom
Found by the Barn Door recently, this unassuming can of Chicken Noodle Soup has been all anyone has talked about lately. Word around the coop would have you believe that the can of Noodle Soup was once a competitor in the Barnyard Brawl. Some of the more skittish residents swear they hear a faint whisper coming from the can.
The Competitors look at the can in fear. All of them knowing that the can represents a mortality that none of them want to confront. Commodore has been scheming to find the perfect way to prey on their fears and enter the can in the competition, thinking the can will repel competitors purely on sight.
Name: Li Guang
Fighting Style: Karate
Li Guang came to the barnyard in hopes of living a quiet life filled with pretty hens, and clean living. To be now thrust back into a world of fighting leaves him irritable.
Li Guang was a karate master before being lured to the barnyard by Commodore with the promise of a peaceful life. The Commodore seems to have some dirt on him. No one is sure what, but it’s apparently a big deal.
Fighting Style: Ninjutsu
Renard has been trying to steal the eggs from the Barnyard for years. When the Brawl was announced, he pounced at the opportunity to win the eggs, while humiliating the Roosters.
Most of the Roosters are furious that Commodore allowed Renard to compete, arguing that someone is going to end up dead because of it. Renard seems to be ambivalent to the brewing controversy, preferring to wax poetic about a romantic tryst.
Fighting Style: “Mama Bear”
Rosie is sick and tired of her eggs being taken from her, and used for the prize in such a grotesque display of macho machismo, and she’s not going to take it anymore. Armed with all of the “Mama Bear” inspirational quotes the internet can muster, Rosie wades into each fight and says: “Hi, I’m Karma.”
Word is the General has been eyeing her progress, and he thinks she may be the key to winning this brawl.
Name: Donald Williams, but every simply calls him “Jerk”
Fighting Style: Words.
“Jerk” is a talker. He talks all day, every day, nonstop. His favorite topics include; himself, how great of a fighter he is, the eggs, and what he’s going to use those eggs for.
Truth is, no one has actually seen Jerk fight. He’s talked a big game, and he does hold the barnyard record in the 100 Cob Sprint. Will big talk, and fast legs be enough to bring him victory? Only time will tell.
Name: “Papa” Linton Cerrano
Fighting Style: Papa doesn’t fight. And you wouldn’t want him too, either.
Papa came to the barnyard looking for freedom of (and from) religion. His previous owner was a Voodoo Priest, and after seeing what had happened to his fellow feathered friends, Papa had no desire to be next. He has carried on a “Chicken Free” form of Voodoo here at the barnyard.
Papa is the master of fates. He pairs off the contestants, and keeps the rules in place as best as one Rooster can. Occasionally, something will get past Papa, but even then, you better be prepared for the consequences. Word around the coop is, Papa is the reason Lil Jerry is so… tiny.
Fighting Style: Unbridled fury
Most of the Barnyard steers clear of Mike. He was supposed to be dinner, but the Farmer goofed, and didn’t cut it cleanly. Ever since, Mike has been the proverbial “you know what, with his you know what… you know what.”, meaning that Mike makes a mess everywhere.
He was never supposed to be in the competition. With his lack of a brain and cognitive function, no one even thought about it. But, one day Mike barrelled through the barnyard and into the ring, knocking Peatah out in one furry of wing flaps.
Beware of the Wings, feet, tail-feathers, and hind quarters. This Rooster doesn’t stop.
Name: Rubber Chicken
Fighting Style: Inanimate Elasticity
Every few days, the Rubber Chicken flies into the brawl and bounces around from competitor to competitor. In the confusion caused by this the farmer is able to sneak in and swipe some of the eggs being used as prize. Rubber Chicken has yet to win or even come close to winning but everyone seems to welcome the chance to spar with no real fear of defeat.
And almost as fast as he enters the fracas he’s gone again. Where he goes from there we aren’t really sure. We just know that in a couple more days the cycle repeats itself. The part that makes no sense though is why the farmer chooses to wear a chicken suit when he steals the eggs. Hopefully we’ll get answers as the competition rages on.
Fighting Style: Sambo
Hawk is always so amped up it’s hard not to get nervous just talking to him. He turned it up to 11 and ripped off the knob. However he wasn’t always this way. When he first showed up on the farm he was looking for the father he never knew. All he knew was that this mystery Rooster might be in the competition, though how he knew that is another mystery all together. He allied himself with the Commodore who said he could help find him.
Rumor is that the Commodore has Hawk on “something” to keep him always amped up and ready throw down. And when those throw downs happen, it is a true spectacle to behold. Hawk moves so fast in his brawls that his opponents strikes rarely land. It’s like he’s a blur of feathers and claws. We hope it is all the actions of a child just trying to impress their parent. Either way, we hope he finds what he’s looking for.
Name: Lil’ Jerry (“Jerry”)
Fighting Style: Being the master of both his and others domains
What’s the deal with Lil’ Jerry? Folks are wondering how a rooster so small made it into the competition. Whenever anyone makes comments about his stature though he just starts screaming about how he was in the pool. When he’s not doing that it’s really hard to hear him say anything, so much so that you might think him a low-talker. But he really is a stand up guy.
Jerry’s motives in the competition aren’t really clear. One moment he plans to parlay his winnings into soup and the next he plans to open a Festivus superstore. We’re not sure what that means. We do know however that despite some of his erratic behavior, Jerry is possessed of a very real serenity in any given moment.