Fighting Style: “Mama Bear”
Rosie is sick and tired of her eggs being taken from her, and used for the prize in such a grotesque display of macho machismo, and she’s not going to take it anymore. Armed with all of the “Mama Bear” inspirational quotes the internet can muster, Rosie wades into each fight and says: “Hi, I’m Karma.”
Word is the General has been eyeing her progress, and he thinks she may be the key to winning this brawl.
Name: Donald Williams, but every simply calls him “Jerk”
Fighting Style: Words.
“Jerk” is a talker. He talks all day, every day, nonstop. His favorite topics include; himself, how great of a fighter he is, the eggs, and what he’s going to use those eggs for.
Truth is, no one has actually seen Jerk fight. He’s talked a big game, and he does hold the barnyard record in the 100 Cob Sprint. Will big talk, and fast legs be enough to bring him victory? Only time will tell.
Name: “Papa” Linton Cerrano
Fighting Style: Papa doesn’t fight. And you wouldn’t want him too, either.
Papa came to the barnyard looking for freedom of (and from) religion. His previous owner was a Voodoo Priest, and after seeing what had happened to his fellow feathered friends, Papa had no desire to be next. He has carried on a “Chicken Free” form of Voodoo here at the barnyard.
Papa is the master of fates. He pairs off the contestants, and keeps the rules in place as best as one Rooster can. Occasionally, something will get past Papa, but even then, you better be prepared for the consequences. Word around the coop is, Papa is the reason Lil Jerry is so… tiny.
Fighting Style: Unbridled fury
Most of the Barnyard steers clear of Mike. He was supposed to be dinner, but the Farmer goofed, and didn’t cut it cleanly. Ever since, Mike has been the proverbial “you know what, with his you know what… you know what.”, meaning that Mike makes a mess everywhere.
He was never supposed to be in the competition. With his lack of a brain and cognitive function, no one even thought about it. But, one day Mike barrelled through the barnyard and into the ring, knocking Peatah out in one furry of wing flaps.
Beware of the Wings, feet, tail-feathers, and hind quarters. This Rooster doesn’t stop.
Name: Rubber Chicken
Fighting Style: Inanimate Elasticity
Every few days, the Rubber Chicken flies into the brawl and bounces around from competitor to competitor. In the confusion caused by this the farmer is able to sneak in and swipe some of the eggs being used as prize. Rubber Chicken has yet to win or even come close to winning but everyone seems to welcome the chance to spar with no real fear of defeat.
And almost as fast as he enters the fracas he’s gone again. Where he goes from there we aren’t really sure. We just know that in a couple more days the cycle repeats itself. The part that makes no sense though is why the farmer chooses to wear a chicken suit when he steals the eggs. Hopefully we’ll get answers as the competition rages on.
Fighting Style: Sambo
Hawk is always so amped up it’s hard not to get nervous just talking to him. He turned it up to 11 and ripped off the knob. However he wasn’t always this way. When he first showed up on the farm he was looking for the father he never knew. All he knew was that this mystery Rooster might be in the competition, though how he knew that is another mystery all together. He allied himself with the Commodore who said he could help find him.
Rumor is that the Commodore has Hawk on “something” to keep him always amped up and ready throw down. And when those throw downs happen, it is a true spectacle to behold. Hawk moves so fast in his brawls that his opponents strikes rarely land. It’s like he’s a blur of feathers and claws. We hope it is all the actions of a child just trying to impress their parent. Either way, we hope he finds what he’s looking for.
Name: Lil’ Jerry (“Jerry”)
Fighting Style: Being the master of both his and others domains
What’s the deal with Lil’ Jerry? Folks are wondering how a rooster so small made it into the competition. Whenever anyone makes comments about his stature though he just starts screaming about how he was in the pool. When he’s not doing that it’s really hard to hear him say anything, so much so that you might think him a low-talker. But he really is a stand up guy.
Jerry’s motives in the competition aren’t really clear. One moment he plans to parlay his winnings into soup and the next he plans to open a Festivus superstore. We’re not sure what that means. We do know however that despite some of his erratic behavior, Jerry is possessed of a very real serenity in any given moment.
Name: The General (formerly “El Presidente”)
Fighting Style: Capoeira
The General longs for his time back on his plantation deep in the Costa Rican rainforest. He arrived here to less than approving response. Every morning he can be seen standing in front of the American Flag painted on the side of the barn staring off into the distance with an almost confused look on his face. Nobody seems to know why he chooses to park there. What little is known is that he was forced into exile under some “mysterious” circumstances. Hearing him speak of his past often leaves the listener filled with more questions than answers.
What everyone does know is that he has a serious problem with The Commodore. There is some speculation that The General is getting some “special” feed for those allied with him in his fight. Having considered the matter done with after his prior beating of The Commodore, The General has decided that it is time to finish matters once and for all and if the barnyard gets destroyed in the process that is an acceptable loss. We hope that someone is able to stop these two before things are too far gone.
Name: Charles “Sunny” M Piston
Fighting Style: The Sweet Science
Only one Rooster on the farm crows at dawn. Sunny once heard the farmer say: “The early bird gets the worm”, and he’s lived by that mantra ever since. Sunny is up waiting on the sun to rise, and he’s there waiting for it to set.
Not a single Rooster has taken the first swing in a match against Sunny, but the rumor is that Clubber is looking for a chance to “bust him up”. No one is sure why they haven’t squared off yet, but we wait for the day they do.
Name: Naldo “Pollo Loco” Acero
Fighting Style: Yaomachita
Naldo comes to the Barnyard after escaping a transport headed to a slaughterhouse. He speaks little, naps in the afternoons, and repeats the same three lines
When fights are scheduled, He loudly proclaims
” Hago mi asesinato antes del desayuno”
When he enters the Ring, He stares right into the eyes of his opponent and says:
And when he sees Rosie around the yard, in a soft whisper he says:
“Deseo hacerte mi feliz para siempre”
No one knows what he is saying, but most of the barnyard believes that he is crazy.